Login
JOKE OF THE DAY
I suppose, is one of those hideous representations
Created: Wednesday, 07 November 2012 22:00

Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.

This, she said, I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art? No, madam, replied the attendant. That ones called a mirror.

 
Little Johnny Jokes
Created: Monday, 05 November 2012 00:52
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing and

staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.

The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the

pastor walked up and stood beside him. Gazing up at the plaque, too, he

said quietly, "Good morning son."

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, not taking his eyes off

the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.

"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque.

Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly,

"Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?"
 
FINE
Created: Thursday, 25 October 2012 01:52
FINE :  This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

 
The big dude knocks him down AGAIN
Created: Sunday, 28 October 2012 00:59
There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears.
 
My best friend, and intensely passionate in bed.
Created: Monday, 22 October 2012 02:03
An old man walks into a bar, sits down, and starts crying.

The bartender asks, Whats wrong? The old man looks at the bartender through

Teary eyes and between sobs says, I married a beautiful woman two days ago. Shes a natural blonde, twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper,

Extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving, my best friend, and intensely passionate in bed.

The bartender stares at the old man for a brief moment and says, But that sounds great! You have what every man wants in a woman, so why are crying?

The old man looks at the bartender and says, I cant remember where I live!